Amman to Addis, via Cairo (with spoilers…)

OK, clearly we must  get things moving here. It’s been eight months and we still haven’t arrived in Ethiopia. And we have a whole bunch of Ethiopia blog posts that have been sitting in the ‘Drafts’ folder, waiting to be posted. So here, in non-movie script form, is a summary of the rest of our ill-fated journey.

So, like, this Australian doctor dude we told you about, he was like a total time freak, y’know? He was, like, paranoid he was gonna miss his flight, so on our tour of Amman, he kept saying to the driver make sure we, like, get to the hotel by 6pm, man, ‘cos our flight leaves at 10pm and we have to be at the airport by 8pm. And the driver kept saying, like, yes, yes, my friend, no problem, and then kept, like, driving us to all these souvenir stores to buy, like, dead sea exfoliating cream and mosaic jars and stuff. And then we get to our hotel and, like, this American dude on our flight who’d stayed in the hotel comes running out of the lobby and he’s like, guys, like, hurry up, the airline called and they’re, like, saying that they’re putting us on a flight that leaves at 8pm so we have to go to the airport right now! So we run up to our rooms and, y’know, like, shove all our stuff into our bags and run back down to the bus and at the airport, this bmi dude takes us through security and tells us to, like, line up at the royal jordanian check-in, and we’re like, why are we lining up at the royal jordanian check-in and he’s, like, just wait here, they’ll give you your tickets. So we, like, wait, and wait, and wait, and it’s like, 8pm now and we’re still waiting in the same spot we were when we got there, and we’re, like, totally starving, right? ‘Cos, y’know, we’ve, like, eaten nothing for eight hours, and we’re all scraping the bottom of our bags to find stuff to eat, and we’d, like, made some granola bars that we’d brought, so we’re sharing them out with 20 other starving people. And THEN, one of the guys says that they’re putting us on a flight to Addis, via CAIRO!! Like, Egypt, man, where the pyramids are and stuff! Unreal! So I’m, like, cool, maybe we’ll get stranded in Cairo, too, so we can see the pyramids! And G’s like, dude, that’s, like, so NOT funny! And then this American lady starts, like, totally ranting at the airline dude, ‘cos they wouldn’t give us boarding passes for our connecting flight from Cairo to Addis, and she’s like, well, when we get to Cairo, who’s gonna look out for us? Who’s gonna make sure we get on that flight? And they airline guy’s like, chill out lady! Everything’s gonna be A-okay. But now you must hurry, flight’s about to leave. So we’re, like, bombing it down through some more security to the gate, and we get herded on to this plane and two hours later we get to Cairo, and of course, nobody tells us where we’re supposed to go, right, so we just get on this shuttle bus to the terminal, and get off, and then someone’s, like, no, not here! So we get back on the bus and drive off somewhere else, and then get off, and then this Irish woman who’s travelling with us is, like, wait! my stroller, where’s my stroller! So she, like, has to go back to the plane to find her stroller, and we to through some other security check and join another line and get told to wait. So we, like, wait and wait and wait. And we’re asking this Egypt Air guy about our boarding passes and he’s like, I need to see your tickets, and we’re like, dude, we don’t have tickets, our flight was cancelled in Amman, and he’s like, wait here, and we’re like, that’s all we’ve been doing is wait here! And then 20 minutes later, he, like, pulls out a wad of boarding passes that have been sitting behind his desk all this time and he starts calling out our names and giving them to us! And the guy’s not even checking our passports or nuttin’! And then he says, now you must hurry, flight’s leaving soon! And we’re like, yeah, well if you’d given us our freakin’ boarding passes earlier we wouldn’t have to hurry. So we’re bombing it down through some other security check, make it on the plane, and we take off and we can see the pyramids at night and stuff and it’s all cool. But THEN, we get to Addis airport and we’d already missed our connecting flight to Bahir Dar with Ethiopian Airlines by a day, right, so we go to the Ethiopian Airlines desk and they’re like, well we can re-book you but you’ll have to pay a penalty and we’re like, but dudes! It’s not even our fault, right? And they’re like, well you didn’t  fly here with Ethiopian, so it’s not our problem, you’ll have to go through immigration and go to the bmi desk. So we go through immigration and look for the bmi desk and it’s, like, 3am by now, right? So we go to the bmi window and there’s some guy tapping at a computer and we start telling him our whole ordeal and he’s like, dudes, I don’t even work here, my flight got cancelled and I’m just helping myself to this computer to see if I can find another flight! But then this bmi woman comes up and she’s like, well our only responsibility is to get you here, so you’ll just have to pay the penalty and try and claim it back from bmi. So now we’re like, stuck in some airport in some strange country in the middle of the night, and we’re starving, and we haven’t slept, and there’s no flights out till 7.30am, right, so we’re like sitting on some crappy chairs, trying to get some sleep, and then I see some guy sitting at the Ethiopian check-in desk, so I go up to him and ask him if he can re-book our flights, and he’s like, I’m just security. So we’re waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and then at about 5.30am the check-in desks open and we ask the guy if he can re-book our flight and he says there’s a flight at 7.45am, but it’s full, so we have to wait until everyone checks in to see if there’s seats available. So we’re waiting, and waiting and waiting, and then finally he calls over and he’s like. I have two tickets for you, so now you take this paper, go over there, pay your penalty, come back here and I give you your boarding passes. So I pay, take the receipt back, get our boarding passes, and the guy’s like, but you must hurry now, flight’s about to leave! And I’m like, yeah, whatever…..